I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he puts the penis in happiness.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
