How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
