Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
