So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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