I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
