I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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