That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
