They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
