They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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