He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
