well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
