I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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