Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
