I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You took a bar mat shot.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
