If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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