I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
