plz talk dirty to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
