I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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