You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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