the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think my vagina is haunted
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
