Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
