Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
