We're facebook friends in real life
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
