Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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