Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
