i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize