with your own penis?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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