Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
