Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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