We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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