Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
