I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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