is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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