yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
only if we run a train.
done.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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