is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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