I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
