Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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