im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
