Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
