also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
