i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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