You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The best revenge is premature balding
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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