I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
