BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize