You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
