She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
