On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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