OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
