my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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