My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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