Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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