I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had to cum in my sink.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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