i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
