is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
