I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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