the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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