no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
