I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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