If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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