You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
