it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize