your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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