Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
